Some Relevance to Mormonism

     I have faith in the future victory of the Constitution. It will not fall. Though it may hang from a string, says a Mormon prophecy.If that be the case, then according to the prophecy, the LDS Church will be what rescues it. And I can believe in that. The Mormons I know are all good people. So are the Baha'i. Even the Satanists can be good too. The Mormons believe that God has a wife. She is called the Heavenly Mother. I can accept that too, since I believe that if God is a gender at all, She is a Woman-Mother. If God wants a wife (or husband even) he can have one.

"Come to me; here's the mysteries man hath not seen, Here's our Father in heaven, and Mother, the Queen."
- History of the Church 5:254

Mormonism is an American faith for the regular folk. I admire it myself. Though I now identify as a Baha'i, I am a registered member of the LDS Church. I was baptized into the Latter Day Saints Church at Camp Pendletone, California Recruits Chapel on Christmas Day 2003. That would mark a special spot in the unfolding of my faith later applicable to being a Baha'i. 

Reminiscing on Boot Camp and Filling With Regret and "Survivor's" Guilt

     Today the weather was warm and decent for winter time. We have been lucky to have this many beautiful days this winter, but I was too warmly dressed so as I went on my errands today I was uncomfortable. After having dinner I walked out side and the smell of the air and the cool, yet warm air gave me a little flash back to boot camp. The ghostly feeling reminded me of standing in formation after evening chow in silence, feeling home sick and depressed. The kind of depression you get when you're 19 and being screamed at by a Drill Instructor re-thinking your motivation to enlist and wondering "what the hell did I get myself into"? That time in Recruit Training as an E-1 was some of the most horrifying and demanding weeks of my life, but at the same time-I miss no other time in my life than those weeks which turned me from a boy into a man. A rite of passage and life experience I will never have again in this incarnation. I still remember my DIs vividly and Samantha (my girlfriend at the time) who was my first real love and who also enlisted to be a Marine, and how my life was just starting. The naivety of my youth and the lies my Recruiter told me that I bought without an ounce of skepticism. What I would do to return to that time period and the life changes I would make. I would be a much different person now. Reader-I don't expect you to understand how I regret now giving my life in the service of my country in the desserts of the Middle East. My greatest regret is not dying a proper hero's death, while so many other gave so much. I live regretting and in decade long guilt that I am alive when so many of my Comrades are not.


     My dinner tonight was macaroni and chilly. The flavor of which reminded me of the food I ate at Marine Corps Recruit Depot-San Diego. The food there was good. I liked it. I like most food anyway, but it didn't compare to a properly made home cooked meal (which I am unable to make). As I am sitting here I am falling into an existential depression. I don't know if it is from the unintentional melancholy of what I am sharing here (this post actually began as an attempt to share a positive experience), or if the darkening evening and approaching night is effecting me. Especially during winter, I seem to become depressed right about the time the sun has set. Nighttime can be a hell for me. Especially as I lay in bed unable to sleep, begging myself to slip into the temporary relief of sleep (assuming my dreams are merciful enough not to present their own mental anguish awakening me to a conscious regret of being alone and amongst the living).


     My religious faith and eternal debt to GOD (Whom has never turned away from me, even when I did) keeps me alive and happy in spite of my selfish self-loathing. Because God has other plans for me, I am here today providing whatever service to Him that I am unaware of. Knowing that some day I will depart this realm to draw closer to His being. Valentines Day is coming up and Sommer recently dumped me, so I will be spending another Valentines Day single and ignored by the female gender.

'The Ghost of You' music video by My Chemical Romance

http://youtu.be/uCUpvTMis-Y

Briantology Numerology

My understanding of the meaning of numbers.

0-None. Absence and non-evidence. The void. Non-existence.

1-Single. Stands alone. Whole. Deity. God.

2-A pair. A couple. Lord and Lady. Deity. God and Goddess.

3-The Trinity. Law of Threes. Things happen in 3s. God Head. Father, Son and the Holy Ghost.

4-Completion. A cycle. Four prayers of Buddhism.

5-Rule of Fives. 2+3=5. Pentacle/Pentagram. The five wounds of Christ (palms and feet pierced and crown of thorns). Magick.

6-Mankind/Man. The Devil. The Antichrist. The Mark of the Beast. 666. 616.

7-God. Perfection. Good luck. 777.

8-Cycles. Eternity.

9-Ego. Self. Important number in LaVeyan Satanism.

10-Good luck. The sum of all basic positive attributes of the Briantology numbers.

~

13

+26

=39

My birthday-August 17th, 1984 (08.17.84).

08   -8

17

+84>11

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Everything in the Inifiniverse works in synchronicity with everything else.