Returning to School Very Soon

     Continuing to deal with the drama of drug addicts and lunatics. I had to throw out yet another individual who refused to leave. Why is my home so great, that people flock there to settle in? Can't call the police, because frankly, I don't trust this town's PD. Because of the problems at my apartment complex, I will be moving out in June once my lease is up. I haven't found another complex yet. I need something that costs as much or less than what I am paying now. I am continuing my job search and put in an application at a book store yesterday. Time allotting, I will be doing a follow up call to a plasma donation center I recently applied at as well. In the past I have even applied at Little Cesar's Pizza, Arby's, and other fast food establishments, but have yet to even get a job there. I am planning to go to school ASAP to get my Peer Recovery Support Specialist certification as well as considering getting my unarmed security guard license again.

Links:

'Pursuit of Happiness' Music Video-Kid Cudi

Is This As Good As It's Going to Get?

     What a poopy few weeks. Depression and anxiety as well as physical illness with no identifiable cause, and now I have a painful tenderness in my neck near my throat, making swallowing painful. Last week, my home town was again hit by a tornado, while other parts of Oklahoma were simultaneously afflicted. At least one school in Moore was damaged (and our Governor opposes storm shelters in public schools, because she is an idiot). I have lost all hope at getting any kind of decent job, and in the past few days have been wondering...at this point in my life-is this as good as it is going to get? I turn 31 on August 17th, and in one year I have accomplished NOTHING. I am juggling the idea of moving into a new apartment complex or out of Norman entirely, because of the paranoia, bigotry and even hate I see growing daily here. Currently we have some storms out west, but tornadic conditions don't seem to be a current issue. Last year, we had a nearly dead tornado season. I wonder what this one will look like?


     More people have died this year of the flu in Oklahoma then ever before, since records began being kept in 2009 (why did they not start keeping records until then?). It seems to continue to linger, even now into spring. I wonder if it will make it through summer. the 1918 killer flu began in spring time and stayed around through summer. That flu killed more people than the black death. I would not be surprised if the flu is becoming more lethal than previous years. The last few years have had bad influenza experiences. As for Ebola-don't think it has gone away...its just that the media have found "more interesting" things to focus on. Cases have just topped 25,000! An Ebola vaccine is currently in the works. I am skeptical that it will be very effective at first, until there are multiple trials to "work out the bugs". This outbreak has blown the previous ones out of the water. Keep your eyes to the heavens for blood, smoke and mist.


     Are you familiar with the book Heaven is for Real? The boy in the story has since revealed that the account is a lie and was cooked up by his father. Although this is one NDE story that has been declared false, it does not in any way effect my belief in God, or the after life. As I write this, we are getting deeper into storm watches. I am always looking forward to storms and hope to see an impressive one, though I doubt I will ever see one like in May 2013! I walked from Norman 7 miles to Moore to check on loved ones, witnessing the ruins of the town I grew up in, I could not help but feel like we were speeding into the Tribulation, but I will say that my views concerning the 'unveiling' have radically changed in the last couple of years and for the most part have become a Preterist. The third blood moon is coming on the 4th in time for Passover, and rumor has it that tomorrow will be another near earth asteroid fly by.

The Day the Abyss Wasn't Opened

    


     Today CERN (Large Hedron Collider) was supposed to re-start (and some worry warts were concerned this would result in earth being swallowed by a man-made black hole or gates of Hell being flung open). However, the event was re-scheduled.  I myself am not at all worried, since last time it was turned on this didn't happen. Some people connected it with the alleged prophetic event total solar eclipse to occur in five days, and the Passover blood moon (third in the tetrad series that began last year) on April 4th. Some connect those events to the prophecies of Revelation and Joel and other books of the Bible, heralding the coming day of Judgment from God:


And I beheld when he had opened the sixth seal, and, lo, there was a great earthquake; and the sun became black as sackcloth of hair, and the moon became as blood;...     -Revelation 6:12 (KJV)


The sun shall be turned to darkness, and the moon to blood, before the great and awesome day of the Lord comes.      -Joel 2:31 (English Standard Version)


If you're interested in learning more than read John Hagee's book Four Blood Moons: Something is About to Change.


     From time to time on here, I mention my sleep problems. Last night I woke myself up several times talking in my sleep. I wish I knew what it was I was saying. Also had recent sleep paralysis experiences again. I wonder why they are ALWAYS horrifying. Why cant I be paralyzed and having puppies licking me, rather than hell-beasts using my limbs in some infernal game of tug-of-war? Oh well, like I always say-at least I'm not in jail. Anything is better than that. I am returning to my fast in connection with the 19 Day Baha'i Fast. I had to take a Sabbatical (ha ha get it! Sabbatical?!) in lieu of an upper respiratory infection (which in its own way contributed to a increased level of spiritual awareness through increased bodily temperature, decreased food intake and OTC medicine.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When doubts haunt me, when disappointments stare me in the face, and I see not one ray of hope on the horizon, I turn to Bhagavad-gita and find a verse to comfort me; and I immediately begin to smile in the midst of the overwhelming sorrow. Those who meditate on the Gita will derive fresh joy and new meanings from it every day."
     -Mahatma Gandhi

The Book of 2 Brian Hill

The Book of Brian Hill 2

I.
1. At the end, on Judgment Day, all will be judged accordingly. Some will be forgiven. Some will be sent back to begin a new (..?..) and to get a new chance to work through their spiritual progressions.
2. I acknowledged my sin unto thee, and my iniquities have I not hid: I said, I will confess my transgressions unto the Lord; and thou forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah. [1.]
3. Be kind to strangers. Be kind to your brothers and sisters in humankind. God may visit you, Christ may visit you, but you may not know it. He will come in disguise to test you. Feed the hungry, cloth the naked and heal the sick. Because any person you encounter could be Jesus/God in disguise!
4. I see the signs of the end times. It is ok.  The Day of the Lord is coming and I anxiously await it. I know I will witness it. I hope that it is soon. I believe that it might be soon.
5. When the Tribulation arrives, people will get in their shelters to hide from the wrath of God. Important governors and politicians will retreat to facilities built in the mountains. They will shout to the mountains "cover me, prrotect me, for the wrath of Jehovah is at hand! Hide me from His eyes!".
6. But, even in those places, they shall be shaken. The angel of death will visit them. The plagues will be increased against those who abandon their responsibilities toward the people and who run from the pestilences.
7. The symptoms of the coming Plague are fever, body aches, a dry cough, sweating, nausea, vomiting and diarrhea, and is highly contagious.
8. 1948 (Founding of the modern state of Israel)
    +
    70 (suggested number of years for a generation)
  =2018 (Era of the Tribulation?)


By 2020, biblical prophecies could be on their way to being fulfilled.
9. Is the Emerald City in The Wizard of Oz a metaphor for the City of New Jerusalem?
Christ says 'Behold, I am coming soon!'.


II.
1. After Judgment, the damned will stand at the right hand of God. They will witness the opening of Hell. But, when the Saints come to judge them-the sinners will be forgiven!
2. Only the Devil and his accomplices will remain in Hell. Many people will be found damned.


III.
1. 15x2=30x4=120
2. This is the End.
_____
Foot Notes
[1.] Psalm 32:5 (KJV 1611 slightly modified to fit modern vernacular)

First Day of the Bahai 19 Day Fast

     At Dawn this morning, the Baha'i 19 Day Fast began. I made noodles and parmesan this morning to tie me over for the day, but I just couldn't make myself eat much. I had a cigarette and now I am getting through the day. I did cheat and have a Coke a little while ago, but my throat was getting dry enough that  I was afraid it would effect my ability to communicate clearly. I am sleepy. Haven't got much sleep lately. It's one extreme to the next with me anyway. It's about lunch time, but I'm not really hungry. A hint of nicotine craving though (oh boy). I was supposed to have a Therapist appointment today, but I cancelled it on account of the roads. I am relieved I didn't go. While I don't feel "bad", I feel a little physically drained, but that could also have to do with little food and water. I still have a small portion of noodles left, waiting to be consumed at break fast at dawn.


      Last Friday I did an over-the-phone interview with Diagnostic Labs of Oklahoma. I also passed my physical for Community Works and am waiting to hear back from CRC. I still have to come up with $19 for the back ground check (which I am required to pay for). A friend of mine recommended me go apply at Sprout's All Natural Grocer. I have worked in a couple of grocery stores. I don't like doing stock though. Random ADD moment question...did you see the film Battleship? It was an OK movie, though it should have been called something other than Battleship since none of the things in the movie had anything to do with the board game, and who makes a movie based off a board game anyway (except Clue. That was a good one).


     This fast is a bit tougher than I had anticipated it being this early on. But, it gets easier with time I imagine. I am having nicotine withdrawals, but no hunger as of yet. But, my appetite hasn't been good in the last day or two anyway. At first I was in a very cheery and positive mood, but now it's slightly downgraded. Not a bad mood or anything, just lacking in luster. Oh, btw since we aren't on the subject-did you hear about this? Seems we might be witnessing the rise of the Antichrist in Greece.   I am trying to plan something for the rest of the day. Maybe make plans with someone. I would really like to hang out with someone today (not my usual gang either). Some of those people are something else.

Thinking Back On Charlie Hebdo

     This morning my friend Chris showed up. He just wanted to say "hello" I suppose. Just to hang out. He didn't stay long. My guests usually don't. I like my guests to leave with something however. Food or literature or communist propaganda, etc. You never know what you will get in one of my "goody bags". Nothing illegal and nothing to be afraid of. Nothing that will hurt you, for those of you who are paranoid. I listen to a lot of talk radio during the day. FOX (how ironic!) and NPR specifically. I usually also listen to Ground Zero with Clyde Lewis and Coast to Coast AM. I am thinking about the 'Charlie Hebdo' case, in which radical Muslims murdered multiple people at their work place for producing a picture of the Prophet Muhammad (May peace be upon him). I am a Bahai and I respect the wishes of Islam not to produce an idol of the Prophet, but I also believe that the murder of human life (or animal even) is inexcusable and a much greater sin than blasphemous art work! Someone needs to explain to ISIS, the concept of "two wrongs don't make a right." I would do it myself, but I can only imagine what those ass holes would do to a Baha'i. You see, we aren't exactly popular amongst the Muslim population, because of our peaceful interpretations of the Holy Quran. In all seriousness however-we should not have to exist in a world where we might get decapitated or shot to death over a religious or philosophical difference. While it is true that sometimes you have to fight fire with fire, you have to realize that water is a much better strategy. In this case water would be respect for life. A heated letter would be appropriate, not a machine gun. Don't contribute to the problem.

Looking forward to the Bahai Fast That is Coming Up.

Name: Brian James Hill
Some people would say that putting my name out there broad casted on the internet like that is risky...but isn't that what a name is for? Besides...look how boring it is. Brian-James-Hill. Three, vary basic ordinary names. Someone once said to me "But it's an American name"! Indeed it is.  Or rather it is a British name, but as an American I will call it 'American'. James is the middle name of my father and Hill is his last name. I rather have 'Smith', which is the name of my maternal family. I was raised by them and consider myself more of a 'Smith', than a 'Hill'. My father was Keith James Hill. He currently resides in Maryland I believe.




Age:30
I am glad. I am much more wise than I was ten years ago. This is the beginning of a new decade in my life. Big positive changes are coming for me soon. I got all the bad decisions and mistakes out of my system in my 20s. I am even looking to have a family in the not too distant future. I am tired of the dating game and all that garbage. I am ready to lay down routes and get some rest and stability and focus on my Mission.




Stats:
I am 5'11. 158 lbs. Thin.





    
     That is an older pic. Maybe a year old, give or take. But, it is more or less what I look like. Most of you already know that, because you know me personally.


Today is February 24th, 2015...and I'm already out of food stamps. I did sign up for Obama Care though-I can't afford the premiums, so my dental abscesses are going to have to be healed through some good old fashioned self-care. At least it could be scientifically fun.


     I made four burgers  today, using my Foreman grill. Cooked them way too long. The grill is supposed to know how long to cook it, and it did, but I left it sitting on the burning grill so long it was charred. I never claimed to be a good cook. In fact my own cooking leaves something to be desired. But, believe it or not, there are much worse cooks out there. Kayla is a "friend" who dropped in to stay for a few days. She cooked several times, and the food was worse than mine.  I spit it out and threw it in the trash when she wasn't looking. I generally don't cook for others myself. I wouldn't want to put another human being through that kind of thing. The Bahai Fast is coming up and I am super-duper excited. That is a very special time for me, to fast and preform certain private and personal rites to commune with God and gain spiritual blessings. It is a wonderful experience every time. During the day I will fast from food and water as much as possible (including sex and nicotine) and do other rites that I have made for myself, that aren't prescribed by the faith. I tend to mix my own beliefs and practices in with the faith in order to better understand the truths of the faith and my relationship with God.